Pregnancy: The do's and don't's you didn't know about

So, it's that special point in life for you or your loved one. If you're anything like my husband and I were, you want to know everything you can about what will happen in the next 9 months. However, if you're put in the situation we were, resources are limited and you could go on searching for the entire 9 months and never learn all the things that are necessary to avoid or to do during your pregnancy, often resulting in a long and painful pregnancy and possibly even delivery.

During my first pregnancy, I was living 500 miles away from my mother and sister, so a large part of my help was absent for the first 2 trimesters of my pregnancy. On top of it all, I had no obvious signs of pregnancy for 3 months, but I knew that I was. I had my period for 3 months in, and I took 3 pregnancy tests at home. I got very ill at one point and was in quite a bit of pain, so we went to the emergency. They did a urinalysis and a blood test and both came back negative, so they were prepared to do a CAT scan. At this point, I was 10 weeks along and I was more sure than I'd ever been that I was pregnant and something was wrong. The doctor in charge of the ER refused to do a sonogram, no matter how much I was against the CAT scan and how many of his doctors agreed with me. Just because the blood test and urinalysis showed up negative, he was convinced I was not pregnant.

• Lesson learned here: Doctors DO NOT know everything.

Contrary to popular belief, Doctors in fact do not know everything there is to know about you. It is called a “practice” after all. You know your body better than anyone else. You know when you are hurting and how much it hurts. You know when something is right or wrong, and when you are pregnant, most of the time you know it. I was sure of. I had the chance to see my mom shortly after that hospital visit and she and my sister both told me that I was pregnant before I had told them that it was a possibility.

I was surprised, but looking at statistics now, I shouldn't have been. Here is something you might want to consider when looking for your healthcare provider during your pregnancy.

• The United States of America is one of the very few countries that uses OB/GYNs as a primary health care provider for pregnancy and child delivery. We're talking a handful of countries here – literally – out of 195 countries world-wide.

• 11% of women in 2006 used midwives for their pregnancy and the number is shrinking slowly.

I realize that using a midwife sounds primeval, and I am in no way degrading the OB/GYN community. If a doctor is your set choice, then by all means, continue. The key here is that you are comfortable throughout your pregnancy. However, I would suggest that you not completely dismiss the thought of having a midwife.

A midwife is completely capable of caring for you. They are licensed to practice medicine and carry anything you would need. Should there be an emergency that requires immediate attention, they will take you to the hospital immediately and most times even help you skip the annoying registration part of it all. They are trained in Anesthesiology and are able to give you an epidural or any other pain medication in the comfort of your own home.

Another thing you might want to take into consideration is OB/GYNs are surgeons. That is their profession and that is what they are trained for in college. In fact, most students will not see a natural birth until they are out of college and in the field. With this in mind, many Doctors jump to what they feel most comfortable with and push for a Cesarian Section before it is necessary. It has gone so far that many will offer the opportunity to schedule a C Section and a tummy tuck. If you are considering this option, I urge you to do more research. No operation is without side affects. You go into this at the risk of serious damage to your body organs surrounding the baby, if not possibly even harming the baby itself. A Cesarian section should be the last resort in an absolute emergency.

• The national Cesarian delivery rate in 2007: 31.8%

That is a 107% increase since 1997. It's an unnecessary number to me, but I've witnessed it happen each time I was in the hospital. With my first delivery, I was in labor for 17 hours before my daughter was born. I was given an epidural without having been informed that it can slow contractions if not completely reverse the labor process. That is exactly what it did and I was given pitocin, and they also failed to inform me that the contractions can get so strong (stronger than is actually necessary for a healthy delivery) that they can cut the oxygen your body delivers to your baby. At 17 hours in, I was barely dilated enough and worn out to the point that I didn't have the strength to push hard enough. I had to convince the doctor to use any method other than cesarian. Thankfully, the vacuum worked well and the baby was born shortly after.

Another issue I faced with the delivery was the fact that it happened to be my Doctor's “day off” and she refused to come in to deliver the baby. Because of this, they would do nothing but drug me until she arrived the following morning at her convenience. The doctor on call could not help me in any way unless it was an absolute life or death situation because of hospital policies. This is something you might want to consider addressing with the doctor of your choice, should you decide to go with an OB/GYN. Should you go into labor while your doctor is away (or at home for that matter) the doctor on call will not touch you or even look at you unless the baby or you are at high risk (meaning something is seriously wrong to begin with). I'd suggest interviewing your OB/GYN or midwife thoroughly before deciding who it is you want at your delivery and be sure that they WILL be there, in the event that they have no serious emergencies.

Moving on to the pregnancy itself. I know, it is odd to begin with the delivery, but making plans at the beginning will make things much easier at the end of your 40 weeks. You can start with said plans by doing things for yourself while it's still an option. Once your baby is here, opportunities for “ME” time are few and far between. Buy yourself some good bath salts, body oils and keep yourself relaxed. Another thing I feel is a necessity for ALL pregnant women is Waleda Pregnancy Body oil. It works wonders and my stomach and hips never saw a stretch mark. Another thing many people rely on for relaxation that you shouldn't is herbal tea. Many herbal teas are bad for an expectant mother, causing many complications. The only one that is in fact suggested, but somewhat hard to find is Raspberry leaf tea. It has very positive affects on the body, and many claim even make the delivery easier. It is made like any other herbal tea and one or two cups a day are suggested.

This brings us to foods. Diet is VERY important while supporting this new little creature. There are a lot of things many people will tell you to avoid or to indulge in, however, you might want to look into this. After all, whatever your body absorbs, so will your baby. Alcohol is obviously frowned upon, although most European doctors suggest a glass of wine once a week or so, suggesting that it has a lot of benefits for you and the baby. How true this is, I'm not sure, though I have never seen any real negative affects from a small amount of wine once a month or so. The key things to avoid would be liquors and loggers and other strong spirits. They have a negative affect on your body anyway. It's very likely that something so small would be affected negatively as well.

Food is also a big issue here, with many ingredients in today's super markets are questionable for our health to say the least, during pregnancy, it's a whole new ball game. Eating healthy makes things significantly easier. You get more energy and strength throughout the day, which you will find becomes harder and harder to come by. I failed to do so and found myself spending most of my first pregnancy in bed is not blacked out at work. Key things to avoid are mercury, extra hormones, corn starch, corn syrup, caffeine, carbonated fluids and anything you really can't pronounce on first glance.

Mercury, for starters is degenerative to your immune system and to the baby's development. It has been linked to many birth defects that could have been avoided. For this reason, I avoided the flue vaccine during both of my pregnancies and have not given it to either of my children. There are high levels of mercury in vaccines as well as tuna and many other fish. Your best bet if you are a sea food lover is to purchase wild caught fish. They are high in iodine (the good kind) that is exceptional for you and your unborn child and balance out what mercury the fish do have in them so that it is not bad for you.

Hormones are commonly found in milk and milk products and can make you uncomfortable – to say the least – during your pregnancy. Organic milk and milk products is very good for you, can now be found in most stores and is worth the extra buck just to keep you healthy and happy.

Corn starch and corn syrup are very bad for the baby and you. They will cause problems with your digestive system as well as the fact that you are looking at the possibility of gestational diabetes that you'll put yourself at a higher risk of if you consume corn syrup at a high or regular basis. As for caffeine it is generally bad for your baby on many different levels. Especially if you're the type to drink a cup of joe daily. Numerous studies on animals have shown that caffeine can cause birth defects, preterm delivery, reduced fertility, and increase the risk of low-birth weight offspring and other reproductive problems. There have not been any conclusive studies done on humans though. It is still better to play it safe when it comes to inconclusive studies. A few studies have shown that there may be an increase in miscarriages among women who consume more than 300 mg (three 5 oz. cups of coffee) a day. Other outcomes include preterm labor and low-birth weight babies. Again, it is safer to avoid caffeine as much as possible. This is enough to convince me to keep it to an absolute minimum.

As for carbonated drinks, they generally contain corn syrup, caffeine, and many other preservatives, so it is generally a good idea to keep away from them. I drank mineral water or ginger ale, which both are very helpful with morning sickness to begin with.

Another word of advice, go with fresh cheeses instead of aged. It will save you a great deal of cramps considering you are looking at a very weak digestive system. I took one capsule of magnesium citrate. It's very useful at keeping your system regular and is healthy for both you and baby. Adding in the Activia challenge is also a great way to keep things regular and the cramps to a minimum. It does work well and it tastes great. It's one of the many great options we now have that are actually healthy for you.

Moving on to what should be the obvious.

• NO SMOKING!

Should you not have a miscarriage, you are looking at MANY health issues that you are giving your child. If you're all for raising the probability of having a special needs child, or planning on burying your child prior to reaching middle school, then by all means, continue. Yes, many people have “healthy” children that smoke. It has been proven that they develop slower, they grade lower and generally are not as smart or healthy in the long run. I would really think this through.

What is also not generally known is that you are inevitably going to cramp like crazy throughout. Especially if you sit at home a lot. Yes, believe it or not, walking and being generally active will help reduce the cramps that come with the baby growing. If you keep moving and keep active there are a lot of bad and uncomfortable symptoms you will avoid just by staying fit.

Another thing people will tell you is that Braxton Hicks contractions are common and don't hurt so bad. Mine were frequent and excruciating and made me want to slap anyone that said otherwise. They were the same for all of the women that I have talked to that have actually had children. They are not nearly as bad as actual active labor and I think that is what most people compare them to when they are saying that they aren't so bad. These false alarms, however did not signal the start of labor for me and I had to deal with them throughout the last trimester of my pregnancies.

One thing many women have told me, and I found it to be true at both deliveries is that you know when you are about to go into labor. I was in and out of the hospital with my first because I knew I was starting labor. Since my doctor was out, however, the hospital wouldn't keep me, so I had to wait until my water broke or I was further along. During my second pregnancy, I knew immediately, and since it was early in the trimester and I went to a considerably better hospital, they took me in immediately to monitor the baby. It was a very strange feeling, like a bad case of the flue leaves you feeling drained and nauseated, but not to the point of actually vomiting. I felt very restless and achy. That is pretty much what every woman has described to me when it comes to going into labor. Just like every woman has told me as well, the doctors and nurses did not believe that I was going into labor and decided that I didn't know what was going on because their monitors weren't picking up the contractions. As I said before, YOU know YOUR body better than anyone else. YOU make the decisions that are best for you and your baby. There is so much advice out there for it. The best that I can tell is what has helped me have happy healthy pregnancies and to decide what is absolutely best for you knowing the options that are out there. Every woman should know the truth of what is going on around her and what each medicine will do to her. Make an informed decision as to what you want to risk and stick with it. There is not a lot that you can change once you get started, so keep that in mind and Congratulations!